One Kind Word

Have you heard of the new project called "One Kind Word"?  I heard about it a while ago on the news and was not sure what I thought of it.  Basically it's a project that gives people tools to help children you see in public that are struggling with their parents.  "One Kind Word is designed to give people (particularly, retail employees) the words and actions to offer support to parents and children who are having a tough time and to help defuse parent-child conflicts."  (from website)

I particularly have been in public situations, at the store, park, gas station, church... where my kids have thrown a tantrum or made a scene.  It's can be embarrassing and I'm not sure if I would want a stranger offering support while my child is on the ground screaming.  I guess probably because I would be at a loss of a comforting word to offer a stranger if they were going through the same thing. On the other hand a kind word is much better then the "looks" I have received before, advise given, or even worse--someone offering my child candy (while they are throwing the tantrum).

Just this week, I have had more then one experience where I had another parent offer me their concern for my child's well being.  I should thank them lavishly and move on, but I find myself feeling judged and hurt.  I know my child and their capabilities and I wouldn't knowingly put them in danger.  

I have to tell this story, that happened about a month ago, I was attending church in another ward.  When I went to Relief Society which was the last meeting of church, my baby was tired.  Because it wasn't my ward I wasn't prepared with my usually toys and snacks I bring to occupy her for the full 3 hours.  During the meeting I looked in my bag for anything that might catch her interest and saw a diaper rash bottle.  I knew she couldn't open it and she immediately was intrigued. One lady behind me literally took the ointment from my baby and handed it to me and said, "Did you know that this is poison, please don't give it to her."  I was amazed and stunned that someone would do this.  I just smiled and nodded my head. After the meeting she came up to me and said that she was a nurse and just couldn't believe I would give that to my baby.  My sister in law was also their and we were just flabbergasted that someone could be so rude.  

Some have come out and bluntly (like the above example) tell you their disgust and others are a little more subtle --but both can be hurtful.  After I felt hurt this week I reflected within and thought I have probably done the same thing and hurt someone unknowingly.  So here I am committing to not judge others for the way they are parenting.  I think unless someone asks for advise, it's probably not wanted or needed.  

I believe we are all learning and doing our very best.  We also know how important our role is as mothers and fathers.  I know I do things different with my fourth child then I did with my first because they come different but also because I'm learning to do better.  That's all we can do is try to do better, educate ourselves and do the best with what we have and know now.  For me I'm going try to be more understanding and loving towards other parents learning and doing their best.