Monday, April 6, 2009
Babywise- my first parenting guide
When I was pregnant with my first baby, my sister-in-law gave me a book called, On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo. I have been so grateful for this book and for the help it gave me! I am really grateful I had such a sister-in-law who would care enough to give it to me. Thank you! I would have done things so much differently. My cousin said there is a great blog that talks about all of these books. See my blog list for the link. (If you have found other great parenting blogs please share) There is several books in the series: Babywise, Babywise II, Childwise. I read the other books but didn't agree with a lot of the discipline ideas. But for the first book, I re-read this book so many times, mine is falling apart. I highly recommend it to anyone who is having a baby for the first or 10th time. I will discuss more about why I love this book in later posts.
I would like to first discuss what I feel should be the first priority of parenting.
Reading the first chapter of Babywise, I knew this was the book for me. It just made so much sense. Chapter One is called "Your Baby needs a Family". A few statements I love... "The husband-wife union is not just a good first step towards child-rearing. It is a necessary one. The greatest overall influence you will have on your children will not come in your role as an individual parent, but in your joint role as husband and wife. Great marriages produce great parents." pg 19-20. When your children know that you and your husband are a team, security felt within your child. The book gives 5 ideas to help not make your life child-centered. 1. Life doesn't stop once you have a baby 2. Date your spouse 3. Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed before the baby came along 4. Invite some friends over for food and fellowship 5. At the end of the day, spend 15 min. sitting with your spouse discussing the day's events (with your children awake). pg 26-27
I like these ideas. We have tried to do the 15 min sitting but we have adjusted this to dinner time and we all share things with each other as a family.
Some of the things my husband and I do to keep our marriage strong and helps our children know we love each other... 1. We make an effort to not talk bad or degrade our spouse in front of our children or friends. Even joking comments can be very harmful. 2. We sit next to each other in church and have our children on the sides of us and not in between. 3. We try to go on a date with each other weekly, I just need to have some fun with him and remind me why I married him. 4. If our spouse makes a decision, we back each other up. If we disagree talk to them about it in private. 5. When we are talking together our children know they need to wait and not interrupt us. 6. Pray for each other and with each other for strength.
"To excel in parenting, protect your marriage." pg 27 Please share your ideas, through comments, that has helped you and your spouse keep your marriage a priority. Comments were doing something funky so I think I fixed it.