Friday, April 23, 2010

Love and Logic Quick tips

I've been wanted to put up a post about a class I took a while back.  It was a Love and Logic Basic Class.  I'm just going to put some of my favorite tips I got that night.
1.  Set a good example by stopping yourself before you show anger or frustration, yell, threaten, lecture, use sarcasm, criticize, blame, etc.  These are traps that let the child focus on our emotions rather than their bad decisions.  (I found this is true in our marriage relationships as well.)
2.  When our kids make bad choices let experience and natural consequences do the teaching.  Don't rob or rescue them from these teaching moments.
3.  When toddlers do something you don't like, use the "Uh-oh" Song.  The "Uh-oh" song is actually sung while you take your toddler for a little away time.  This allows you not to get angry and the toddler away from the situation.  Example, The child hits dog with a toy hammer, or toddler is throwing food (or spitting) from high chair, throwing dirt from your potted plants in the house, they are screaming and crying for no apparent reason while you are having dinner, story time, or company is over.  This down time is short, just enough time for them and you to calm down.  This is what I sing, "Uh-oh, time for a little play-pen time" and then I as nicely as I can sing this while I carry them to their play-pen.  And yes I think you can start this as early as 1 year old.  Kids are smart, why let them get away with something now and try to back track latter when they are older.
4.  When kids whine or argue use a "brain dead" statement by saying in a calm voice, "I know" or what did I say?"
Grandparents can use these same strategies when watching their grandchildren.  Grandchildren respect their grandparents when they know where the limits are while visiting.

Examples of situations where you can use love and logic.

Kid is begging for a toy in the store (Empathy and choices you can live with)
"I can see why a kid would love a toy like that."   (wait and stay quiet for a minute)  "Do you have the money to buy that?"   "No?  Some kids put toys like that on a wish list for birthdays or Christmas.  How would that work for you?  and   "No?  Some kids do extra chores to earn the money.  How would that work for you?"

Kids won't eat what you cooked.  (Consequences)
"Dinner is on the table for ten more minutes, get what you need to hold you over until breakfast"

Kid won't pick up the toys he played with.  (Enforceable statement)
"Whoa, I see toys on the floor.  Grandma might trip on those.  Grandpa will tell you a favorite story as soon as those toys are back in the box.  Ready, set, go...!"

1 comment:

  1. I love "love and logic". I just wish I used it better. It's been years since we took a class. I think I should take one every year. Thanks for your reminders.


I appreciate your comments!