The Five Love Languages

I picked up the audio book at the library last Thursday and finished most of it in one day.  It was my baking day so I listened to it while I cooked in the kitchen.  I loved the concepts in this book.  It's by Gary Chapman.  I have seen others read and talk about this book but had never read it myself.  I'm glad I finally "read" it.
Chapman believes all individuals have a love language they prefer to receive from others.  Here are the 5 languages and a few examples:
1.  Words of Affirmation
Words of encouragement and praise, Complements, Hearing "I love you, I need you"  Hearing Thank you and I appreciate what you do.
2.  Giving Time, and Full Attention
Doing things together, quality conversation, going out to dinner, sitting on the couch together, going for a walk
3.  Receiving Gifts
It doesn't have to be expensive but just receiving something shows them they care.  Flowers, candy bar, a new outfit, card.
4.  Acts of Service
These can be as mundane as making the bed, doing laundry, dishes, dinner on the table when they get home from work, mowing the grass, doing errands for them etc.
5.  Physical Touch
Holding hands, massages, back scratches, and of course sexual intercourse.
Chapman talked about how each of us have a love tank within us.  If our love tank is full then we fill good about our relationship.  Our spouse fills our love tank by speaking to us in our love language.  When we are dating we do all of these things to try to find out what our date likes.  When we get a positive response then we repeat and give more.  Sometimes in marriage we forget to keep giving those things that make our spouse happy.  Or we could be doing tons of service to our spouse and not seeing any results but really all they want is to go on a walk with us every night.  I decided to talk to Devin about what he thought was his love language and see how his love tank was.  I was right when he said his love language is Physical Touch.  My own language is Acts of Service.
The last part of this book focused on our children.  We can apply these same principals with our children. This really made sense to me when he said if our children's love language is words of affirmation that for that child when a parent puts them down verbally it is even more devastating to them.  This gave me some things to think about.  I would highly recommend reading this book if you haven't.  I believe it could really help any relationship.

Reading this summer!

Have you been to your Library or Bookmobile lately.  This is when all the Summer Reading Programs are in full sweep.  Every library I have been to does some kind of reading program to encourage children and adults to read.  Our family looks forward to this every summer.  Besides the library program the governor has a challenge as well.  We got copies of this program from our library.  If you read 20 minutes a day then you qualify to get a free kids meal at McDonald's.  This program has such fun ideas on the calendar to encourage more reading and learning.  Here is a link to get the Governor's 2011 Summer Reading Challenge
We do our reading in the afternoon when it's super hot outside.  We take at least an hour break where the younger kids read with mom and then take a nap and then my older kids have quiet time where they read on their own.  It doesn't really matter when or where but challenge yourself and your kids to find the time to read this summer.

Encouraging Culture --Noon Music-2011

Every day but Sundays this summer at Logan High School Auditorium will be Free Concerts at Noon.  Usually the concerts are held in the Logan Tabernacle but because of construction they have been moved to the High school.
The kids and I went to one a couple weeks ago and had a great time.  We were listening to Fry Street Quartet and it was amazing!  The greatest thing is we didn't have to leave half-way through the concert like we have in the past.  Most likely it's because, my kids are getting older.  I'd like to think it was because they are amazing children but really it's hit and miss.  This time we were lucky enough to sit through a whole concert.  It also helped that it was only 45 minutes long.  During a very beautiful peice my 8 year old turned to me and whispered, "How was God Created."  We then had a quiet conversation about God and creation.  What a sweet experience it was for me.  I believe it was the music that created a space for him to contemplate.  It was a priceless moment I will remember for a long time.  I was so grateful for this opportunity to share this with my children.
For a full schedule of concerts please visit:  www.cachecommunityconnections.com
These are not more then an hour and will all be very good.  Every Monday is the Utah Festival Opera Company.  My sons piano teacher will be playing July 8th so we will for sure go to this one.  I always love to hear the Lightwood Duo and they are on Aug 3rd.
Concert Etiquette is very important to show respect to the performers and to the audience members. Here is a few ideas that can help.

• I always talk to my children about how we need to remain seated and sit quietly.  
• If they need to talk it needs to be a whisper.  
• Clapping should be held until all movements of a piece is complete (if you watch the performers and or the conductor, you can really tell when it's time to clap)  
• I like to point out things during the concert I think might be interesting, (like "watch that guy really get into the music", or "Wow this is a scary part of the song")
• Bribery is great in these situations.  We always get a little treat to the kids after a concert.  Sometimes we have to remind them during the concert that if they don't stay quiet they won't be able to get a treat with the family.  It usually takes only one reminder and then they are quiet again.  
• Don't feel bad if you can't stay for the whole concert, if you can see your kids getting restless, don't be afraid to tell them, "You have been doing so great but I think we need to go after this song"  Only you know how much they can handle and you might just want to start with half a concert and then work up from there.
• If you have small children, sit close to an exit so you can escape quickly when they fuss

Hope you find some culture this summer.  If you hear of a great concert or event please share in comments so more can enjoy it!

Ice Cream for Dinner!

Tonight we are having Ice Cream for Dinner.  Crazy but it's a tradition for the first day of Summer.
Every family member gets to choose an ice cream topping.  Tonight we have planned
Vanilla Ice Cream
Bananas
Strawberries
Brownies
Candy Bars
Chocolate sauce
Caramel Sauce
Sprinkles
So unhealthy but it brings us some extra excitement to the dinner table and everyone gets to help out with planning and preparing the meal.
Traditions are what make some of the best childhood memories.  I encourage you to make and keep a family tradition and then share it in comments.  Happy Summer!