Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Caring for Husbands

I know I usually write about children but I can't help writing today about caring for husbands because I am reading Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book called "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands."  I read this book several years ago and picked it up again at the library because I needed a refresher.  I have lots of New Years goals and one is to improve my relationship with my eternal companion.  I read once that anything you feel important in your life you should read a book about it once and a while.  I like to do this with marriage, parenting, gospel topics, and money management.

Dr. Laura is totally traditional in her ideas of marriage and relationships and she is not afraid to say so.  She says it how she feels and puts a few strong words behind it.  Despite her occasional bad word I totally agree with her and would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting a great relationship with their husband.  Since she does many radio shows she has tons of examples of relationships and her advise to them in her book.  Some are hilarious and some are quite sad.  Here are a few quotes in her book that I found enlightening.
"How can husbands fell respected, appreciated, or loved when they are the constant brunt of their wives negativity about everything?  As much as men's bellies need to be filled with delicious "home-cooked meals," their egos need to be filled with 'yummy food' as well.  I have found that if I speak blessings about my husband, then blessings are what i get in return."

We as women, want to know that we are lovely and desirable in general because of our shapes.  Ladies, what makes the male ego issue any different from our body ego issue?  A wife can tear down a husband's necessary sense of strength and importance more easily with a look or a comment than can torture in a prison camp.
She then gave the example of Eve who felt her husband "didn't understand her" and didn't do things right to help her feel happy and satisfied."  This all changed when she finally recognized that her husband had goals and desires, frustration and needs, all his own.  She realized that she had virtually ripped his love of golf away from him because she'd always felt that if he loved her, he'd want to be with her, he needed to do things around the house and with the kids, and she needed a break.  She admitted never even considering that maybe he needed a break, too.  I loved this comment that she made at the end. "Now several years later, we both are much more caring about each other, and willing to see the other's need and point of view.  Funny as I changed, my husband didn't seem so bad.  Did he become more pleasant in response to my more pleasant attitude, or was he really not all that bad to begin with?"

Sorry this is longer then I planned on.  I just have really enjoyed the thoughts that this book gave on how we as women can improve our marriages simply by improving our attitude, words, and actions we make towards our husband.  She gives so many personal examples and hard not to see yourself a little in all of them.  It really makes me evaluate how I can be a better wife, friend, and lover.


  1. It is a great book! My mom read it and liked it so much she bought copies for all of her daughters and daughters-in-law. It is definitely worth a re-read every now and then.

  2. I think the best thing I was ever told as a youth was "If you want to be treated like a Queen treat your husband like a King"
    While I agree with the things she says about having a better relationship, I have a hard time reading her things when she herself has been divorced and had extramarital affairs. Kinda like telling an alcoholic to quite drinking while you are a drinker. I hope that makes sense.

  3. I understand what your saying Sandra. I don't know anything about her personal life I just know the things she has written in this book, I really agree with. Maybe her experiences has given her some key info that she can help others not to do the same thing she did?


I appreciate your comments!